Easy going … Steven and Emma

MARTIN ROSE

By DEIDRE SANDERS

Sun Agony Aunt

WE can all feel jaded about sex sometimes and swapping partners for the odd night can sound like the best way to sharpen up your appetite without risking your relationship.

After all, if you’re both doing it openly, what can be the harm?

But it’s not as simple as that.

Advice … Agony Aunt Deidre Sanders

Our sex life is closely linked with our emotions.

What can be safe as a fantasy can be very risky for our relationships when real people get involved.

Judging by the readers who get in touch with me, it is usually the man in a couple pressing to try swapping and swinging.

Men are often more capable than women of having sex without getting emotionally involved.

But they may react very differently afterwards about their partner having made love with other men.

And whatever the woman’s experience, it’s bad news.

If she has a rotten time then she will feel dirtied and resentful – and perhaps be left feeling very insecure if he enjoyed himself.

If she has a good time, her partner may well be the one left feeling insecure.

Most men feel very vulnerable if there’s a chance their prowess as a lover may not compare favourably.

So this supposed safe way of enjoying sex with someone new can result in broken relationships, wrecked families and a lot of grief.

And that is quite apart from the risk of sexual infections if protection isn’t used.

Or suppose there is a contraception failure and one of the women gets pregnant? It happens.

I suggest anyone drawn to swinging asks themselves why.

Is it that your love life has become dull or unsatisfying, or there is some tension in your relationship?

You may be able to sort these out together. If you get stuck, Relate counsellors can help (0300 100 1234 or relate.org.uk).

OK SO THAT’S THE FUN PART!

Steve Rifkind says Asher Roth Album TOP 5 EVER

Steve Rifkind says Asher Roth Album TOP 5 EVER from Kush Robinson on Vimeo.

What if Eminem pursued a degree in elementary education, popped his collar, and liked his parents? Though comparing an on-the-rise Caucasian rapper to the real Slim Shady may seem hopelessly facile, Asher Roth — the boyish 23-year-old behind the surprise top 10 iTunes hit ”I Love College” — does initially come off like a junior-varsity Marshall Mathers, eerily echoing the 36-year-old superstar’s nasal delivery and back-of-the-classroom cockiness.

On this debut album Asleep in the Bread Aisle, Roth fully acknowledges the white elephant in the room with the song ”As I Em,” intoning, ”Because we have the same complexion and similar voice inflection/It’s easy to see the pieces and to reach for that connection…not much that I can say except I’m sick of it.” In that case, he’s going to be feeling ill for a good while. But if critics and mainstream hip-hop fans can find room in the game for more than one melanin-deficient MC, Roth might surprise them. ”College,” his loping ode to women, weed, and one-dollar pizza slices, provides an irresistible dose of lowbrow higher-education hedonism. And though he makes good use of street-accredited guests like Cee-Lo (the soul-slicked ”Be by Myself”) and Jazze Pha (syncopated goof ”Bad Day”), Roth never floats sham tales of suburban hardship here. Instead, he just wants to have a good time — and for the most part, he provides one as well. B

By Leah Greenblatt

AND IN SHADY NEWS…HERE’S SOME UPCOMING COVERS…

BTW here’s the vid…and no, it’s really not Jessica Simpson on the hook!